Brooklyns Grammy Awards Red Carpet Wrap Up

Let me start by saying that I LIVE for the red carpet. L-I-V-E. The red carpet to me is like a playoff game to a football fan. This is the lead up to the main event that lets you know who's is on top of their game. I want to see what everyone is wearing, hear who designed their dresses, and read how ridiculously they look. Yes- you heard me right- I said READ. Ask any good drag queen and she will tell you that reading is fundamental. I'm not talking about reading in the typical sense of the word as in "reading a novel." No honey, in this case to read is to spill the T (as in truth) and throw shade. There were a lot of hits and just as many misses at Sunday night's Grammys - and I've got an opinion on all of it! #AllTNoShadeHunty

The two biggest trends on the red carpet were black and silver metallics. The stars looked like they were either attending a fancy funeral or trying to ward of radioactive elements. There were some who chose to wears beautiful jewel tones as well. Here are some of my picks for best and worst dressed.

Fashion Faves

Taylor Swift

(Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

Taylor Swift looked regal in turquoise. Normally I'm not a fan of high-low dresses, but the pleating on this dress gave the feel a certain sophistication that makes the high-low aspect structure and sound versus looking like a mullet dress. Taylor's fuchsia heels add the perfect contrast color to stand out too.

Katy Perry

(Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

Katy Perry finds the perfect combination of style and sophistication with this old Hollywood inspired look. The length reminds me of a 1950s Elizabeth Taylor. Even the lilac tone of Perry's hair is similar to the famous violet coloring of Taylor's eyes. This beaded stunner is proof that you don't have to dress scandalously to be hot.

Gwen Stefani

(Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

Jumpsuits can be hard to pull off, but Gwen Stefani makes it seam like an easy feat. The detailing in the bodice keeps this from appearing mundane and Gwen's poise makes this trendy look seem effortless.

Chrissy Teigen & John Legend

(Christopher Polk/Getty Images)

Chrissy Teigen's white gown screams sophistication. The elegant look is given an edgy twist with perfectly placed cutouts that prove to be sexy without revealing all of her. Teigen's husband John Legend looks handsome in this well tailored suit sans tie.

Common

(Lester Cohen/Getty Images)

Common kept it simple and classy in a monochromatic look. This is one fine piece of chocolate that I would't mind unwrapping. 

Madonna

(Kevin Mazur/Getty Images)

I love this look. Madonna is the queen of promotion and this Givenchy ensemble was a reference to her matador themed video and performance for her new single "Living For Love." The lace and beading on the shoulder pads, corset, and skirt add a demure touch, while the leather boots and gloves are typical Madonna-sells-sex style.

 Lady Gaga

(Lester Cohen/Getty Images)

I cannot believe what I am seeing. Lady Gaga looking absolutely stunning. Gaga looks sultry and sophisticated in a dress that, for her, is quite simple. No gimmicks or wacky entrance in an egg. This stunning silver number is reminiscent of Jessica Rabbit and just as sexy. The simple open toed sandal helps to elongate her leg without competing with the detailed fabric of the gown.

Miley Cyrus

(Kevin Mazur/Getty Images)

Miley came in like a glamazon. Anymore, Miley is known for her wild and wacky fashion sense. She's a fan of body suits and pasties, yet she came in an elegant black gown with well placed cutouts. 

Tom Jones

(Steve Granitz/WireImage)

Tom Jones proves he's still a "Sex Bomb" in a daring royal blue suit. At 74, Sir Tom is old enough to be my grandfather but given the chance I'd let him find out "What's New Pussycat?" if ya know what I mean.

Jane Fonda

(Steve Granitz/WireImage)

This is Jane Fonda at 77 schooling all the little hoes on the red carpet. Proving you don't have to have your bits hanging out to be sexy. Kim Kardashian take note: THIS is what sexy meets classy looks like.

Fashion Fails

Ariana Grande

(Kevin Mazur/Getty Images)

This could have been a really pretty dress if it weren't for that misplace silver boob bandage.  It looks like the dress was missing a panel and Ariana took her assistant's silver scarf and draped it over her tit at the last minute! Oh and that hair! I'm SICK of it! That can't be the only hairstyle your hair dresser knows! It not only makes you look like your 12, but it looks like you clip a fake ponytail on as your running out the door.

Rihanna

(Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

Normally Rihanna is on point when it comes to red carpet fashion, but this time she missed the mark. This dress looks like either a Libman Wonder Mop or a shower loofa. Either way, a cleaning product is not what one should strive to look like on music's biggest night.

Charlie XCX

(Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

 I don't care that Charlie XCX came to the Grammys in what looks like her dad's old tuxedo. I like the pink bow tie and bedazzled heels. What I'm not a fan of is that mangy looking hair. I get you want to look moody and cool... like you don't give a fuck and couldn't be bothered, but it's the Grammys for Christ's sake. The least you can do is look like you washed your hair. And did she steal Grace Kelly's fur?

Kim Kardashian

(Christopher Polk/Getty Images)

Kim K looks like she borrowed Blanche Deveraux's bathrobe from the set of Golden Girls. This dress would have been better if there was either the elongated v neck or the high slit, but having both looks as though a wardrobe malfunction in inevitable. Given her recent knack for full frontal editorials, I'm surprised the dress is fastened closed at all.

Jenny Lewis

(Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

Jenny Lewis looks as if she took a white suit to the airbrush artist's kiosk at her local mall and said, "Have at it!"

Prince

(FilmMagic)

If Sophia from the television show The Golden Girls was black, this is how she would look. Seriously, Prince looks like my 77 year old Jewish aunt Yetta Bernstein on vacation in Boca Raton.

Best Dressed

Kat Graham

(Larry Busacca/Getty Images)

Kat Graham is sheer perfection in this black and white ensemble. The shape of the sheer shell is that of a flowing ball gown, while the white laser cut design looks like an edgy image painted right on her.   The simple bun and earrings add more glamour without overpowering or competing with the dress. Best Dressed all the way!!!

Worst Dressed

Joy Villa

(Reuters)

The construction on this dress, if you can call it that, is impeccable. The mermaid shape is wonderful.  The problem i have with this look is that it is trash... LITERALLY... T.R.A.S.H!!!! Joy Villa - I don't even know who you are - looks like she was swimming in the ocean and got caught in trash that was dumped. This is legitimately portable fencing used on highways and construction sights. The dress, designed by Andre Soriano, leaves little to the imagination. I think Joy was streaking and happened to pass the Grammys and grabbed some nearby construction fencing and wrapped it around her for modesty and the venue's not nudity policy! You look like a nutcase! On the plus side... all of the indentations the dress will make on you body after sitting for hours will allow people to play tic tac toe on your ass.